Hope...

"What has brought me hope lately???"

Well, as my post before this one shows, I felt content, even though it was so brief, I still felt it.

I have hope I will feel it again!
After our vaca, I have hope we are going to be ok.
I have hope I will see my baby again, I will hold her and wont let her go.

My husband has been amazing part of my hope. He gives me such hope I can almost feel it! He is so encouraging and supportive and patient!

I was once told a very long time ago that hope takes 2 things~ desire and expectation! Well I have both, so now I wait....

A foreign feeling...

It happened this past week while on vaca with my husband and in-laws. 

You see, I was sitting on my balcony, looking out over the turquoise ocean in a country that I truly love to be!  It was warm, the sun was shining, palm trees were swaying, and the waves were rocking.  I had this really weird feeling come over me, and as I sat contemplating what it could possibly be, it hit me!  I felt contentment!!!!  It felt so strange you see because I truly have not felt it in over seven months!  Content!  Wow!  I was content!  And then, the minute I realized what it was, instantly I felt pain in my arms, pain in my c-section scar area, pain in my heart....There it was and so quickly there it went! 

Contentment!  I felt it, it was over seven months since I had felt it, but there it was!  I hope I will feel it again sometime soon.....