Sadie Quinn Baker from Every Life Has A Story

Becky & Zak lost their first born child, Sadie Quinn, on July 10th, 2010 due to pre-eclampsia & HELLP syndrome at 24 weeks pregnant.

Hummingbirds remind me of my Sadie~tiny, gorgeous, and perfect! I was nearly kissed on my cheek by one my first week home from the hospital as I sat on my proch, there began my love for humming birds! I particularly love the ones with green on them as I imagine Sadie would have had green eyes like her daddy and myself!!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Story...

I'm not sure how many of you know this song, but WOW!!!
I feel like she wrote this song for words I cannot express.

Since losing our daughter I have changed, in so many ways.
Here are some of the physical changes that have overcome me:

Yes, I have an 8 inch scar across my lower abdomen, but I also have other visible scars, if you looked closely you would see. That day in July when I was overcome with pre-eclampsia, my left eye became black and blue and swelled up! You see, a part of it never went away. If you look closely, you will see I still have a lil black/blue spot just under my left eye, permanent damage, a permanent scar of what happened that day!

I have aged, yes, gray hairs popping out, worry lines, wrinkles, etc!

I have also become an you wont be seeing me in Hollywood, but an actress in my real life story. I smile, I laugh, I carry on conversations about your this and that, but what I really am feeling, what I really am don't know! I can't always express!

A positive husband and I have always been close. We love each other greatly. We do everything together because we love to!! Going thru what we've gone thru has made our relationship even stronger, even deeper! When I thought before we were made for each other, I know we are truly made for each other!! I love him more than words can express, I am grateful for all he has and continues to do for me and for us!

This brings me to the point of my post...a song...a truly breath-taking song, that I fell describes what I feel so well, and I think it may describe what so many other BLM's feel as well.

Here is the Link if you have not heard it and wish to, or below the link are the lyrics, so you can read them if you choose!!!


Link to video of The Story by Brandi Carlile:

Lyrics to The Story :

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...I was made for you
I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do
I was made for you
You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what
I've been through like you do
And I was made for you...


Amy von Oven said...

I love this...Yes, so many of us live a hidden life. We dress up and go places acting like things are great, when we are dying and screaming out on the inside. People ask how we are, but they want us to say we are fine because they can't handle the truth of knowing we feel lost, alone, and scared of the fear living inside of us! Praying for you my friend.

TanaLee Davis said...

Thank you for the song. Beautiful! Hugs mama...I feel your pain mama.

Carly said...

Becky, Thank you for you sweet message. We have a special bond as pree/hellp survivors and suffering the loss of our sweet babies. I'm here for you through this tough road that is greiving and trying again. I was in your place not too long ago. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Love,Carly