Sadie Quinn Baker from Every Life Has A Story

Becky & Zak lost their first born child, Sadie Quinn, on July 10th, 2010 due to pre-eclampsia & HELLP syndrome at 24 weeks pregnant.

Hummingbirds remind me of my Sadie~tiny, gorgeous, and perfect! I was nearly kissed on my cheek by one my first week home from the hospital as I sat on my proch, there began my love for humming birds! I particularly love the ones with green on them as I imagine Sadie would have had green eyes like her daddy and myself!!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

My heart is broken....

Have you ever wished the weekend would end? NO? Neither had I til this weekend!

Its been a particularly heart wrenching weekend. We started it out on Friday, my poor husband running into someone who brings particular heartbreak and bad memories up. Then he came home and we went to my nieces ballet recital. I should have thought that one out, but I didn't, I didn't even think at all, I just signed us both up to go!

It was torturous! Lil girls, lil baby girls, pregnant women galore! It was SOO IN OUR FACE! We both literally ran out of there after her part! IT was all we could do to get out of there in tact!

Next, today, we were babysitting, and my husband loves to play with my niece, and she loves him to pieces and totally works him! She ended up with a boo-boo and my husband picked her up and calmed her and got her to stop crying, and laugh! I was crying! I am still crying writing this! It is so unfair! He is the best daddy, and it is beyond words unfair that his baby girl, our baby girl is not here! She is not with us! I don't get it! How? Why? We would be, we are amazing parents, why are we robbed the life of our baby girl!?

What gives!?!??!?!!??!!?

SO yes, I am hoping this weekend ends! I am scared for what tomorrow will bring, how much more can we take???


Becky said...

I'm sorry to hear your weekend hasn't been going well so far. I hope it gets better. You and your husband sound like amazing parents. I wish I new "why us" also cuz it really isn't fair...
Thinking of you...

My New Normal said...

I wish we knew the answer to why. I think there is no why, there's only figuring out how to move forward.

TanaLee Davis said...

Oh Becky,

You have had a tough weekend. I don't blame you for wanting it to be over. I too get sad when I see J doing things with little kids(girls- particularly) And get emotional. Its not fair what happens to us.

I hope that today or very soon things will be 'lighter' or more gentle to you. Hugs from Oregon,

butterflymom said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your tough weekend. I know that sometimes the whole statement of "When it rains, it pours" literally comes true. Hoping there are better days ahead... ((Hugs))